sed|swa: December 2007

The dance begins.
You notice him. He notices you. The gaze is extended just long enough to realize – mutual attraction.

It was a devastatingly ordinary day. I rinsed, I curled, I brushed, I dressed, I changed, I changed again, an hour and a half later I left. Taking my usual train to work, I got on board noticing a man who didn’t exactly fit the usual coffee-pounding morning profile.
Shaggy hair the color of midnight, black beat up chucks, cigarette style dark jeans and an equally tight shirt. He even had matching black ear holes stretched to the size of nickels – if I could say anything, this guy could color coordinate.
He sat, willing to meet my eyes when I glanced at his. There was that sensational moment, and we both felt it. Throughout the trip we casually glanced in the direction of each other catching subtle body movements that could be translated into subway talk for ‘Hey. I’m digging you.’ It was all there. I thumbed through my purse to find something to write on. An old receipt, an emery board, anything that would absorb ink. Nothing.
Then.
My stop.
I got up.
He did not.
Hesitantly, discouragingly, I left him.

…Two weeks later…

My black knight greets me on the same train, same car.
What are the odds? Think of the symphony of circumstances for this type of fate to occur.
The timing, the destination. Same train. Same car!
I knew fate was screaming – “don’t let this one get away!”
I screamed, “I won’t!”
The train was packed. I could barely see him. But every time I peeked, he was looking my way.
One stop.
Still on board.
Two stops.
Still there. I’m making my way towards him with each stop until…
The third stop he escapes. My beloved - gone!
That night I hopped on Craigslist’s “NYC Missed Connections” and wrote a description of our encounters followed by a desperate plea in an attempt to locate him.
Days passed. No response. I had let my black panther get away.

…One week later…

My friend was DJ’ing at some hip, 20 something bar in the east village and I went to support. Two hours later I was dancing, having a few drinks, and enjoying my night when - a vision in black….Is it him? Is it really him?
Yes.
My black beauty was leaning against the wall conversing with a similarly dressed woman.
I approached him cautiously, in slight disbelief, bright eyed and full of tamed excitement.
My heart was pounding. I managed a weak “Hi." Realizing the need to elaborate I continued, "I’m Celia. I think I’ve seen you several times on the train but never had the opportunity to talk. Would you have... a moment?“
He was looking me straight in the eye. To think, all my proceeding days of blissful dreaming depended on this very moment... What will he say? What will he think of me? I hope he’s not dating her. I can’t wait to take him to Kentucky to meet my parents! And then:

“HAAAAAAY! Yeah, of course I remember you! How are ya, girlfriend?!”
Did he just slap my wrist?

I was stunned. My crush, my future love, my everything that was missing from my life was….FLAMING?! How could I have misread? Thrice!
I took two, very slow steps backwards, paused, still staring, then bolted for the door.

I will never love again.